So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Randomize
