Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Randomize
