butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
