You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
