When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
