I want to stick my p in your. b.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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