But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
