i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
