The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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