wakey wakey hands off snakey
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
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