Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
