took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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