is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
