i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
