Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
