1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
