Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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