Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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