I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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