I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
