1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
