Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
