Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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