she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
