You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
