Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
