ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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