I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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