If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
