We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
this beer tastes like vomit already
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
