And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
