just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
