Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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