she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
