You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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