Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
