Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
