he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
