I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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