Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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