Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
