She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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