are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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