you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
