May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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