she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
