FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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