apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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