somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
