Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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