in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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