3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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