if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My ass is underappreciated
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
