Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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