i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
