Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
